MAX is all i can think of now.
We've been visiting the vet every week. He's been getting all sorts of illness since a month ago. From rashes to skin fungus to being patches of bald, to bleeding due to scratching, then came a hole on his left leg and now...
 | ||||||||
| THIS. |
It's called Hematoma.
Nerve rupture in his ear causing blood to clot and swell like a tiny balloon. And i have to use a needle to poke it and suck out the blood using a syringe and then squeeze the blood out. I can't be doing this ALL THE TIME. He's losing blood.
Thus I made up my mind to send him for an operation.
It'll be tear-jerking for me to even send him to the vet but it sure looks like I don't have much choice.
He's 9 this year and 63 in dog years. Eversince Grandpa passed away, he's always been giving me all sorts of problems. Falling sick often and all. I don't know whether it is still about Grandpa or has he taken Grandpa's place, of being weak and ill all the time.
I just feel bad for not being good enough for Max. And this...this is all my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. Perhaps the nutrition wasn't enough? Perhaps the attention wasn't enough?
He's such an angel. Never once he struggled when the Doc injects him, squeeze his swollen muscle or does anything rough on him. As long as his eyes were looking into mine, he knows I'll never let anything harm him. As long as I am beside him, he knows he'll be alright no matter how much pain he needed to endure. And that breaks my heart so badly cause I'd do anything to go through the pain together. But all I can do is just reply the look into his eyes gently and smile telling him that he's such a brave and good boy. And that the pain will be over soon and he'll be able to go home.
I just don't know how am I gonna walk away from him tomorrow and leave him behind with the Doc. I just hate this feeling so badly...
Damn these tears better stop flowing. Someone please tell me everything is gonna be alright. =(
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